From Nanny Pants to Business Casual

Today was the day. The last day of my nannydom.

I started today knowing that this was the end of a chapter in my life, but I hadn't realize how integral a part.

Nine months ago, I started nannying for Wes. He was a 3-month-old blob who wouldn't take a bottle, would only sleep when he was held and made you work for a smile. Since then, he's grown into an adorable 1-year-old with quite the personality. He knows how to sign for the stuff he wants and can kick a soccer ball like a fiend. He growls and babbles, and is generous with kisses and hugs. He eats everything and nothing at the same time, but has an affinity for blueberries. He takes long naps and makes a 'vroom' noise when he pushes his car around. I have had a blast being his nanny, and I will miss seeing him grow up!

Six months ago, I began the journey of the Three. Cooper, Addie and Tori were fragile, little babies (well, Cooper not so 'little') and it wasn't a stretch to call what I did 'watching'. The last six months have seen a landslide of milestones, and I have loved every step forward. From getting a smile from Addie, to seeing Cooper hold his own bottle, to watching Tori crawl...it has been a humbling and exciting experience. 

I love the reaction I get when I tell people I nanny for triplets, mostly because they don't realize how ridiculously rewarding it is. They only see 3x the diapers, 3x the crying and 3x the formula. I look back, and I see 3x the laughs, 3x the accomplishments, and 3x the excitement. I can't wait to check back in and see how much bigger, smarter and awesome they've become.

As of August 15, I will be the Marketing Coordinator for Stark & Associates in St. Louis. I am genuinely thrilled for this opportunity, but I am also grateful for everything I've experienced this past year...it's made me a better, more patient, person.

You want work experience, enter the corporate world. You want life experience, be a nanny.

NKOTBSB And Magical Chupcakes

There's a home video of me from 1990 in which I am dancing around my living room in a New Kids On The Block t-shirt, complete with baseball sleeves. My hair is sticking every which way and I have the annoying aura of a two-year-old that thinks 9:00am is ideal for a dance party (something I never grew out of). I rock out to "You Got It (The Right Stuff)", completely unabashed by the presence of the video camera, and when the song fades into "Please Don't Go Girl" I merely slow down my dance moves. I don't change anything I'm doing, except for the speed...cause that's "slow" dancing, right?

The reason I share this little anecdote with you is because last night I had the privilege of attending the LEGENDARY collaborative concert that is NKOTBSB. (In case acronyms stump you, that stands for New Kids On The Block/Backstreet Boys.) Someone was sitting in a room one day and thought, "Hmm. These two groups each reinvented 'boy bands' for their generation, which resulted in Tiger Beat fueled stampedes of young girls, who didn't even have all their hormones yet, crooning along to love songs dripping in falsetto and crying, yes crying, through their unrequited love...hows about we send them around the country, 10-20 years later, and just see what happens?"

I'd like to shake that guy's hand.

This concert was phenomenal. There were harmonies and sweet, throwback dance moves. There were screaming 40-somethings and crying teens. There was a whole lot of crotch grabbing and some sensual panning shots mades by the cameramen that must have made them uncomfortable. And the biggest shocker of the night: Donnie Wahlberg's abs. Like buttah.

I can't wait to reminisce about the nostalgia coursing through my veins that night.

What an entrance. I'd like overhead lighting like this each and every time I enter a room.

NBD, just NKOTBSB.

Ya, Backstreet Boys whipped out the white suits for some "I Want It That Way".

From our seats, we could fully appreciate the phallic nature of their stage.

A sparkling finish to "Please Don't Go Girl".

Both groups came out for the encore and had the ultimate boy band battle. When BSB and NKOTB go head to head, everyone wins.

The only way this night could have been better would be if Jonathan Taylor Thomas had been my date, and I was wearing a shirt that said 'brat' in glitterati cursive.

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From preteen crushes to early twenties cravings, let's dive into my latest baking endeavor: Oreo Cheesecake Cupcakes (aka 'Magical Chupcakes').

Now, I'm not a Martha Stewart fangirl. Lord knows I can't stand her voice and her financial advice is a little touch-and-go, but God bless her, she knows her way around a kitchen. This is TECHNICALLY her recipe, but I made some changes, so I have renamed them "Magical Chupcakes" (That's cheesecake + cupcake...chupcake. I gotta copyright that before Martha pounces on it.)

The original recipe makes 30, but unless you're having a party or live with Cookie Monster, what are you gonna do with 30 chupcakes? That's why I cut it in half. Logic.

Things to get at store:

• 21 Oreos, 15 left whole and 5 coarsely chopped 
• "coarsely chopped" also translates into "put them in a plastic bag and pound the crap out of them"
• Just get a whole pack...when have Oreos ever gone to waste?
• HERE'S WHERE I SWITCH THINGS UP! Get the mint Oreos. They're the ones with the green frosting in the middle. I've found that they add a little something extra, and they make it prettier in the end.
• 1 lb. cream cheese, room temperature (two 8oz. tubs, for the rest of you Journalism majors out there)
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• pinch of salt (I didn't cut this direction in half...not sure what "half a pinch of salt" would look like, so just eyeball it.)

This is how we do it (sing along):

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Place 1 whole Oreo cookie in bottom of each lined muffin cup.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, (Seriously, Martha? Damn, prison made you LAZY! For us lowly serfs, this is, indeed, manageable with a hand mixer.) beat cream cheese on medium-high speed until smooth, scraping down sides of the bowl as needed. 
3. Gradually add the sugar, and beat until combined. 
4. Beat in the vanilla.
5. Drizzle in eggs, a little at a time, beating to combine and scraping down sides of bowl as needed. 
6. Add in sour cream and salt, beat to combine. 
7. Using a large spatula, fold in the chopped (pulverized) Oreos.
8. Divide batter evenly among the cookie-filled muffin cups, fill each cup almost to the top. (Again, as with the Snickerdoodle Cupcakes, I prefer to fill cupcakes with a  plastic bag. Get a large gallon bag and fold town about two inches of the top of the bag (this helps reduce mess). Use a rubber scraper to spoon the mixture into the bag, and fold up the top when it's full. Cut a small hole in the corner of the bag. Instant pastry bag...suck it, Martha.)
9. Bake, rotating muffin tins halfway through, until the filling is set, about 22-28 minutes. Transfer the muffin tins to a wire rack to cool completely. Refrigerate (in the muffin tins) at least 4 hours (or overnight). Remove from tins just before serving.

I didn't get a chance to take a picture of my finished creation, as I had to go chill with Donnie's abs (see above), but here's Martha's photoshopped version of a complete chupcake:

Pretty simple, and REALLY good. Plus, now you have 1/4 a bag of Oreos to enjoy. 

(You may now refer to your bulging midsection as a "chupcake" instead of a "muffin top". You're welcome.)

Zen and the Art of Baby Food

Formula is disgusting. It looks like sour milk and smells the same going down as it does coming up (which it does...often). It's even worse with the triplets because they have all kinds of thickeners to add and specific kinds of powder that, if possible, smell even worse than the usual stuff. I always told myself that life would improve monumentally when the formula was retired.

Note to future 'mom' self: things don't ever get easier as children get older, they just get...different.

Case in point: baby food.

To start things off, I have a confession. (When making confessions, I always wish I had a reality show confession room with a comfy couch and a camera that I could look into and say things like, "I'm not here to make friends.")
My confession is this: not all baby food is gross. I have a tendency to lick excess apples, pears and prunes (Ya, I like prunes...sorry my stomach is 80 years old) off of the lids. This action hurts no one, albeit makes me seem a little more ridiculous as a caregiver. I'll probably be one of those moms who must 'test' certain baked goods for poison before my children can enjoy them...and some of them will indeed have poison and I will sacrifice myself and eat the entire muffin/cupcake/donut to ensure the safety of my children.

Now, don't be fooled by the small selection of acceptable fruits...the rest are vile. I'm not a fan of squash in its usual, ridiculous-looking form, but when you mash it, smash it, puree it and shove it into a plastic cube, it loses any of the appeal it held previously (like, for butternut squash fries and...that's about it).

And opening the small bins of disgusting? I feel like Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark as I carefully peel back the vacuum packed plastic protection sheet. (Side note: EVERYTHING is vacuum packed...including the smell. Yummy.) The carrots, peas, green beans, etc. are just waiting in there to explode in your face, and there's no way to stop it. No matter how carefully you peel, no matter how quickly or slowly you do it, it always manages to go "PLEH" and get little droplets on your hands and face. But never the fruits, oh no...never something that you have no problem licking off your hand; it's always the whipped vegetables that even the dog won't touch.

After it's all opened, and in the bowl or on the spoon, there's still another obstacle course ahead of you: feeding. They should have had this be one of the events on that Nickelodeon game show, "GUTS". I have a theory that "16 and Pregnant" wouldn't exist if America's 12-year-olds were subjected to feeding an infant strained peas in lieu of the Aggro Crag. (Let's go to Mo!)
I think my wards know something I don't about skin care, because they have a new way of eating that involves shoving the food through their face instead of into their mouth, but their skin is flawless.
New night time regime: baby carrot face mask.

I keep telling myself that it will get easier once they're eating solid foods, or at least move past runny sweet potatoes for every meal, but then I remember that the next 'step' for them is the blended turkey dinner...I think I'll stick with what I know.

Snickerdoodle Cupcakes And Awkward Interactions

If I were walking down the street without a three-wide-stroller, I wouldn't get honked at by construction workers whom I spoke with the previous day. I wouldn't be told by strangers that they were proud of me or that I deserved applause. (I also wouldn't have calves of steel and a sweet sunglass tan.)

As witty and well-versed as I consider myself to be, I rarely find a suitable comeback to these inspirational sayings (or honks) before the speaker has gone on his or her merry way. I melt into Chandler Bing, a ball of jerky hand gestures and sounds that aren't found in nature. It bodes well for my character, and for the triplets general well-being, that I at least inform our friends of the road that I am the nanny, and not the mother.

It is only then that I get the wide eyes of understanding and the nod of acceptance: this strange woman is only responsible for part of these children's lives.

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While my verbal skills might be on the decline, my cooking skills are still on par...or so say my newest conquest: Snickerdoodle Cupcakes.

I stumbled upon this Martha Stewart gem and, despite my lack of standing electric mixer and photoshopping abilities of the final product, I think mine turned out quite nicely. Here's the recipe (with my own personal touches.

First, the cupcakes. The original recipe yields 28 cupcakes...knowing this, I cut the recipe in half. I don't even need 14 cupcakes in my life, let alone 28. So the following recipe will get you just over a dozen cupcakes...to share with friends...not eat all by yourself. 

Here are the cupcake ingredients:

• 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cups cake flour, sifted
• 1/2 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 tablespoon ground cinnamon, plus 1/4 teaspoon for dusting
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature (The first thing I do when a recipe calls for butter is set it out on a plate. Even if it doesn't call for room temperature, it makes it easier to deal with.)
• 7/8 cups sugar, plus 2 tablespoons for dusting
• 2 large eggs, room temperature
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 5/8 cups milk

In order to be more like Martha Stewart, I measured out all my ingredients and put them in bowls. (Butter and egg out first, so they can get to room temperature.) Thought: I need to invest in a good apron. One that makes me look like I know what I'm doing.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. (These cupcakes look best in yellow liners. The bright color makes this more of a summer cupcake, instead of autumn, the season traditionally associated with snickerdoodles.)
2. Sift together both flours, baking powder, salt, and 1/2 tablespoon cinnamon. (Sifting makes me feel like I know what I'm doing. Everything is so soft and fluffy...)
3. With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, cream butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. (This is where the room temperature butter comes in handy.) 
4. Add egg, beating until it is incorporated, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. 
5. Beat in vanilla.
6. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture in three batches, alternating with two additions of milk, and beating until combined after each.
7. Take a minute to lick the beaters. This dough is phenomenal. (OK, this wasn't in Martha's recipe, but try to tell me she didn't lick the beaters. I mean it...I got full on the batter alone.)
8. Divide batter evenly among lined cups, filling each 3/4 full. (I've discovered the best way to do this is to put all the batter into a large ziploc bag and cut a small snip in the corner of the bag. This way, you can funnel in the correct amount, and it's not as messy.)
9. Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until a cake tester (not your finger, I've learned) in centers comes out clean, about 20 minutes.
10. Transfer tins to wire racks to cool completely before removing cupcakes.

The thing I love about cakes, cupped or otherwise, is the timing involved in everything. While the cake cools, you get to make the frosting. THIS frosting, had me feeling like a true pastry chef and, despite Martha's insistence on expensive appliances, can be done with what you have in your kitchen...or my parent's kitchen.

"Seven-Minute Frosting" (Doesn't take 7 minutes...don't be fooled. Allot at least 10-15 minutes, or up to 30 if you're completely inept.)

Frosting Ingredients (Again, I've halved the recipe from the original):

• 3/4 cups, plus 1 tablespoon, sugar
• 1/3 cup water
• 1 tablespoon light corn syrup
• 3 large egg whites, room temperature

And here are the directions. If you find yourself going, "huh?" over and over again, just take a step back and read it again. If I can do it, so can you. (Note: This might very well be really easy, and I am just intimidated by cooking sugar. Whatevs.) Martha likes to get fancy.

1. Combine 3/4 cups sugar with the water and corn syrup in a small saucepan; clip a candy thermometer to side of pan. (I didn't have a candy thermometer. I had a meat thermometer. You adjust.)
2. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until sugar dissolves. Continue boiling, without stirring, until syrup reaches 230 degrees.
3. Meanwhile (and this is while you aren't stirring the syrup), in the bowl of a standing electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment (Haha. Oh Martha. What you meant to say was "bowl" and later, "hand mixer". What a crazy woman.), whisk egg whites on medium-high speed until soft peaks form. (I don't know what she meant by 'soft peaks', but my eggs got all foamy.)
4. With mixer running, add remaining tablespoon of sugar, beating to combine.
5. As soon as sugar syrup reaches 230 degrees, remove from heat. With mixer on medium-low speed, pour syrup down side of bowl in a slow, steady stream. (This is where it gets tricky. When I look back on doing this, I picture myself juggling a pan of scalding sugar, a bowl and a mixer. It was actually easier than all that, but I still have the flashbacks.)
6. Raise speed to medium-high; whisk until mixture is completely cool (test by touching the bottom of the bowl) and stiff (but not dry) peaks form, about 7 minutes. (Standing at a counter chasing an electric mixer around a glass bowl for seven minutes...a standing mixer would have paid for itself by now.)

By the time the frosting's done, the cupcakes should be cool enough to frost. Martha suggests an Ateco No. 809 or Wilton No. 1A tip on a pastry bag (...really, Martha? You're speaking parseltongue about frosting tips? That's low. I'll use my patented ziploc bag with an itty-bitty snip in the corner.)

Here's her technique that I tried to copy: "Hold bag over cupcake with tip just above top, and squeeze to create a dome of frosting, then release pressure and pull to form a peak." Poetry, right?

Sift the remaining 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon and 1 tablespoon of sugar over the cupcakes. You can keep them at room temperature or serve them chilled to give them a slight shell.

Here are two pictures of the finished product. One of them is mine, and one of them is a photo-shopped rendering of a cupcake and Jennifer Aniston's body...or something ridiculous like that.