NKOTBSB And Magical Chupcakes

There's a home video of me from 1990 in which I am dancing around my living room in a New Kids On The Block t-shirt, complete with baseball sleeves. My hair is sticking every which way and I have the annoying aura of a two-year-old that thinks 9:00am is ideal for a dance party (something I never grew out of). I rock out to "You Got It (The Right Stuff)", completely unabashed by the presence of the video camera, and when the song fades into "Please Don't Go Girl" I merely slow down my dance moves. I don't change anything I'm doing, except for the speed...cause that's "slow" dancing, right?

The reason I share this little anecdote with you is because last night I had the privilege of attending the LEGENDARY collaborative concert that is NKOTBSB. (In case acronyms stump you, that stands for New Kids On The Block/Backstreet Boys.) Someone was sitting in a room one day and thought, "Hmm. These two groups each reinvented 'boy bands' for their generation, which resulted in Tiger Beat fueled stampedes of young girls, who didn't even have all their hormones yet, crooning along to love songs dripping in falsetto and crying, yes crying, through their unrequited love...hows about we send them around the country, 10-20 years later, and just see what happens?"

I'd like to shake that guy's hand.

This concert was phenomenal. There were harmonies and sweet, throwback dance moves. There were screaming 40-somethings and crying teens. There was a whole lot of crotch grabbing and some sensual panning shots mades by the cameramen that must have made them uncomfortable. And the biggest shocker of the night: Donnie Wahlberg's abs. Like buttah.

I can't wait to reminisce about the nostalgia coursing through my veins that night.

What an entrance. I'd like overhead lighting like this each and every time I enter a room.

NBD, just NKOTBSB.

Ya, Backstreet Boys whipped out the white suits for some "I Want It That Way".

From our seats, we could fully appreciate the phallic nature of their stage.

A sparkling finish to "Please Don't Go Girl".

Both groups came out for the encore and had the ultimate boy band battle. When BSB and NKOTB go head to head, everyone wins.

The only way this night could have been better would be if Jonathan Taylor Thomas had been my date, and I was wearing a shirt that said 'brat' in glitterati cursive.

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From preteen crushes to early twenties cravings, let's dive into my latest baking endeavor: Oreo Cheesecake Cupcakes (aka 'Magical Chupcakes').

Now, I'm not a Martha Stewart fangirl. Lord knows I can't stand her voice and her financial advice is a little touch-and-go, but God bless her, she knows her way around a kitchen. This is TECHNICALLY her recipe, but I made some changes, so I have renamed them "Magical Chupcakes" (That's cheesecake + cupcake...chupcake. I gotta copyright that before Martha pounces on it.)

The original recipe makes 30, but unless you're having a party or live with Cookie Monster, what are you gonna do with 30 chupcakes? That's why I cut it in half. Logic.

Things to get at store:

• 21 Oreos, 15 left whole and 5 coarsely chopped 
• "coarsely chopped" also translates into "put them in a plastic bag and pound the crap out of them"
• Just get a whole pack...when have Oreos ever gone to waste?
• HERE'S WHERE I SWITCH THINGS UP! Get the mint Oreos. They're the ones with the green frosting in the middle. I've found that they add a little something extra, and they make it prettier in the end.
• 1 lb. cream cheese, room temperature (two 8oz. tubs, for the rest of you Journalism majors out there)
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• pinch of salt (I didn't cut this direction in half...not sure what "half a pinch of salt" would look like, so just eyeball it.)

This is how we do it (sing along):

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Place 1 whole Oreo cookie in bottom of each lined muffin cup.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, (Seriously, Martha? Damn, prison made you LAZY! For us lowly serfs, this is, indeed, manageable with a hand mixer.) beat cream cheese on medium-high speed until smooth, scraping down sides of the bowl as needed. 
3. Gradually add the sugar, and beat until combined. 
4. Beat in the vanilla.
5. Drizzle in eggs, a little at a time, beating to combine and scraping down sides of bowl as needed. 
6. Add in sour cream and salt, beat to combine. 
7. Using a large spatula, fold in the chopped (pulverized) Oreos.
8. Divide batter evenly among the cookie-filled muffin cups, fill each cup almost to the top. (Again, as with the Snickerdoodle Cupcakes, I prefer to fill cupcakes with a  plastic bag. Get a large gallon bag and fold town about two inches of the top of the bag (this helps reduce mess). Use a rubber scraper to spoon the mixture into the bag, and fold up the top when it's full. Cut a small hole in the corner of the bag. Instant pastry bag...suck it, Martha.)
9. Bake, rotating muffin tins halfway through, until the filling is set, about 22-28 minutes. Transfer the muffin tins to a wire rack to cool completely. Refrigerate (in the muffin tins) at least 4 hours (or overnight). Remove from tins just before serving.

I didn't get a chance to take a picture of my finished creation, as I had to go chill with Donnie's abs (see above), but here's Martha's photoshopped version of a complete chupcake:

Pretty simple, and REALLY good. Plus, now you have 1/4 a bag of Oreos to enjoy. 

(You may now refer to your bulging midsection as a "chupcake" instead of a "muffin top". You're welcome.)